Online Banking

I was browsing the web earlier tonight. The usual websites, checking the iMac's because Ben promised one earlier for THE AGENCY. I can't wait... *drool*. Let's hope he keeps to his word. Also checking out the iPod Touch but with such low hard disk space, I'm considering the Classic instead. I can live without the multi touch screen. Anyway, I somehow found myself browsing Al Rajhi Malaysia's bank website.

Have anyone actually realize that their logo kind of resemble someone giving you the finger? They don't even try to cover it up, it's just blatantly out there for all to see! As I was loading the website, it got all funky on me.



It's just screaming, "Fuck off! Can't you see I'm sleeping!"

Looks like it's screaming in some sort of HTML language hence the 'Error Occured while Processing Request' title. Crazy error messages all over the screen. All layed out in such disaray. If my speakers starts screaming right now, it would totally freak me out. This would be my report if I was some kind of website surveyor...

WEB SURVEY REPORT
Hardware - Apple Powerbook 12" G4
Operating System - OS X 10.4 Tiger
Browser Used - Safari v2.04
Website Visited - Al Rajhi Malaysia
Results:
Website was sleeping and asked me to come back another day. He flicked me off which was pretty rude. He also took a tone on me and showed a lot of attitude. Will try on Windows platform next week.

The Messi(ah!)

I don't really follow Spanish football, just a bit here and there but I think everyone should know who the best in the world is. The following is a snipet taken off from Phill Ball's Soccernet entry which describes it best.


'Barcelona, on the other hand, have used the period most fruitfully, stuffing everybody left, right and centre. Crisis what crisis? - whose subtext reads 'Who needs Ronaldinho?' Well, Grimsby Town for example, but let's not go down that road. Ronaldinho has at times in his Barça career appeared to be the Anointed One, particularly with all that gooey stuff glinting in his locks, but he has been supplanted by the new Messiah, as several Barça bloggers are now calling the little Argentine. It is also interesting, in this context, to see - in any given generation of footballers - how long it takes the world press to actually come out and state 'X is the best in the world'.

Several writers were on the point of saying it last season, after Messi's famous goal against Getafe enabled those easier comparisons with Maradona, but something held them back - maybe the presence of a relatively (though not entirely) untroubled Ronaldinho on the scene, and also the fact that up to then, Messi had flitted in and out of competition, gloriously at times but with that butterfly fragility that suggested that he might just not hack it physically - certainly not enough to attain the consistency that finally earns you 'the best' label.

The other 'problem' with Messi is that despite several attempts of late to make him more media-friendly, he's not exactly Mr Charisma. Nice enough guy, of course, and quite amusing when given the chance to talk, but hardly a source of witty and controversial sound-bites. And try as you might, you just can't see him emerging from the disco steps at 2.30 in the morning, nor shielding his face from the paparazzi flash-bulbs as he is caught in flagrante with some society floozie. It's just not going to happen, mainly because you know he's at home sipping his late night hot chocolate before saying good night to his mum.

Ronaldinho, of course, is/was no oil painting, but his looks are a source of comment and are a gift to in-house newspaper caricaturists far and wide. Maradona himself was hardly possessed of film-star looks, and was of similar stature to the tiny Messi, but at least with him you could depend on a decent repertoire of histrionics, illegal substances and ludicrous one-liners. Unless Messi uses his recent salary hike to employ a personal trainer cum spin-doctor, the press may continue to only consider him the best in the world if he actually plays good football. What a thing indeed!

Then again, there were times this week, against poor Zaragoza and Levante, when you were keenly aware of the fact that when Messi receives the ball in certain positions, with a certain lay-out of players, angle, distance and pitch before him, he is simply unstoppable. The proof of greatness is surely that. You just think - 'He's going to score soon', and he does.

At Levante, a side bottom of the league but not without spirit, he simply ran them ragged. Henry scored a hat-trick, but funnily enough did not play particularly well. The goals will do him good, but his first was courtesy of a shot from Messi that bounced back into his path, and the second was thanks to an excellent pass from the tiny genius. You could see the Levante players panic and lose concentration every time Messi got the ball. It's the prefect recipe for the other players in the team (Barça) to improve too, because no-one is taking any notice of them. Italian journalists said something similar when Maradona won Serie A with Napoli. Brilliant though Maradona was, it was the turbulence created in his wake that enabled the other players to shine, so preoccupied were opponents with attempting to nullify the Argentine's threat.

But in terms of individual threat, Messi's goal against Levante was particularly interesting. With the game already killed off at 0-3, Messi receives a long crossfield ball, out on the right wing. As he advances, Bruno Cirillo, Levante's Italian defender, reluctantly chooses to put up some token resistance. Knowing that he cannot jump in, because Messi will simply skip past him on either side, Cirillo jogs to goal-side of Messi, hoping to hold him on the edge of the area, until reinforcements arrive. To the left of the camera shot, they are riding in on tired horses, exhausted by the battle so far. But no-one is actually marking either Iniesta (running up in support) or Henry, peeling off again to the far post in the hope of a fourth goal for the evening. Messi, who not only has great skill but perfect vision too - makes his decision. It's almost apologetic, but he moves inside Cirillo, as if to run across him, then suddenly swivels and changes direction, so fast that the Italian, already with the weight on his wrong foot, simply stumbles. On his face you see the expression 'Damn! I knew you were going to do that, but I still couldn't stop you' (however you say that in Italian), upon which our hero skips into the penalty area, pivots on his right foot and sends the ball swerving low across the Levante keeper with his left - plop into the net - exactly as you had suspected he would.

That's the beauty of greatness. You can see what the anointed ones are probably going to do, and lo and behold they do it - but as Cirillo would no doubt remark - there's no solution to the problem. Kick him? Well you can try, but for most of the fifty-one minutes Messi was on the pitch, he was simply too fast for anyone to even foul him.

And as final proof of the pudding of greatness, the Levante supporters rose to applaud him as was taken off by Rijkaard, presumably to save his legs for the Champions League this week. That doesn't often happen in La Liga. So by the way, Messi is the best in the world.'


All hail The Messiah!

Main Man

I’m not Christian but I seriously believe there is a God or something similar to Him. He’s got to be cool, like someone with a good sense of humor and just plain charismatic. Like Morgan Freeman, who plays ‘God’ in the AllMighty movies. He has got to be extravagantly witty.

I decided to write him a letter:


God
316, Heavenly Lane,
Cloud Palace Golf Resort,
808088 Heaven.


Dear The All Mighty Dude Upstairs,

First of all let me start by saying thanks for getting my parents together so they could have me. I also thank You for the wonderful life that I have been given so far. I mean there are my ups and downs but I am not complaining. I know that I’m in a better situation than more people in the world.

Sometimes I wished You’d make thinks easier on most of us. Give us a clue on which road to take and which are the right choices to make. In light of this, I’ve actually browsed through Your website(www.dudeupstairs.com) and been through your catalogue(which I must say was a very neat layout) and would like to place an order for your latest book, “Your Right Choice” and also the very critically acclaim “How To Live for Dummies”. Just debit it from my account once You send the books. You should know my account number.

Also, I would like to take this opportunity to ask for Your forgiveness on my sins. Hopefully You’ll see it fit to lift some points deduction which would give me a far better chance of getting into Heaven. I promise never to litter anymore. I know You’re thinking about the smoking thingy but I do litter as much as I smoke. You should know, I’m sure Mother Nature has been complaining to You about me non-stop. My friend, Elaine Tan, the one that thinks she’s a copywriter, You should know her. She taught me today that all the cigarette butts I threw away in some drain would cause some chemical reaction to the butt and release some toxic poisonous substance and go all the way to the sea. So I’ll stop doing that too, “Always Bin Your Butt!”

Since we are at the topic of getting into Heaven, would there be a reply to me asking when exactly do you think I’ll ‘kick the bucket’? It doesn’t have to be an exact answer such as date and time but a little hint would be nice. Even how it happens. I know it’s a dodgy subject in Your book and a lot have failed trying. Still it would be nice if You could.

Also I would like to thank You for blessing me with the strength and courage to deal with other humans on Earth. I appreciate the fact that You have made us all equal and that You apparently love all Your children equally but I’m here to say from first hand experience You have got to think that through. Now what was going through your mind when you created them but I’m sure You have Your reasons. You can get back to me on that later. No biggie.

Anyway, I know You are a very busy man and I shall not take up any further of Your time. Just maybe You could give my grandfathers a little shout out and also to Your son, Jesus. Hope that You can get back to me on some of the questions and also not forgetting the books I’ve ordered. Thanks for caring.



Your Loved Child,
Ian


P.S. Do You think You can turn down the heat in this country a bit? It’s hot as a mother fucker in here.